Dear Sensitive,
How many times have you heard the term “process your emotions or feelings” – it makes sense intellectually. But what does that actually look like?
Many of my clients don’t know what it feels like to process their emotions. Often, the mind takes over the natural process of feeling our emotions. If that’s the case with you, then the guide below will help.
Firstly, an emotion will be defined as a sensation you feel in or around your physical body.
Step 1: Notice & Label
Notice and label what you are feeling in or around YOUR BODY. This can be tightness, tension, pressure, lightness, heaviness, and so on. Note, this is not a state of mind such as doubt or confusion – because these states are often not correlated to physical sensations. Find the sensations and label them (ie fear, love, excitement, anger, etc).
Step 2: Notice Any resistance
Notice any resistance to feeling these sensations. This will usually happen via thoughts like,
“It’s fine – no big deal.”
“If I feel this, it won’t stop. I’ll get stuck in this.”
“I look stupid crying.”
If you experience these, gently acknowledge these thoughts and let them go.
Step 3: Process & Allow
Process and allow any emotion in and our of your body by first, finding a safe or comfortable environment, if needed.
Get curious & ask: Where is this feeling in my body? What color, shape, texture, & movement does it have? What message does this have for me?
Be with it and allow it. Allow it to come in waves. Somatic practices and movement based activities, such as yoga or breathwork can be used.
Step 4: Get primitive & self-soothe
Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel the emotion, soothe your nervous system, as needed, especially after feeling vulnerable or tender. Examples include:
- Rocking yourself
- Crying
- Deep breathing
- Primitive scream
- Napping
- Hugging others or yourself
- Watching some TV
- Curling up
- Using tapping – Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
- Movement
- Whatever your body needs in the moment
Step 5: Reflect
Self-reflection can only happen once the nervous system goes back to baseline (i.e. feeling safe – out of fight, flight, fawn). Don’t attempt to do thought work, such as mindset coaching, before feeling re-centered in your body, as it will likely only make you feel worse.
Bottom Line
Processing your emotions means being open or willing to feel them in your body. You’ll find that when you are out of your head, you naturally follow the steps above.
